The Curse
Growing up, there were hundreds of things that I knew I wanted to achieve. I have been blessed with an undeniable passion for the arts, which made deciding on a career path at a young age very easy for me. I had goals and timelines and experience and skills and, as a teenager, I thought the sum of these things would be a perfect, successful career as an artist. Back then, things always worked out for me.
I started selling artworks at 15 years old, worked part time as a studio assistant, finished school with a good ATAR, went straight to university, graduated at 21 with great grades and then..have not been able to get a job in my field. As much as everyone warned me about this, it was still a shock. I did everything right. I didn’t understand where I went wrong. I tried so hard.
For the past 18 months, it has sometimes felt like a curse. Like no matter how hard I try, someone else will always get the job. I’ve applied for countless positions at galleries, publishing and illustration jobs, fashion jobs, tattoo apprenticeships, design jobs- basically anything even remotely creative. It’s so tempting to feel like I’m just not a winner.
I’ve decided, though, that the curse isn’t real.
There is nothing written in the stars to say that I’ll continue to fail (and I know that, because it is what I am choosing to believe to be true). Good things are coming and the future will be bright because I will make it bright. I will make good art and share good words and sing good songs and a good life will grow from me. The right people will notice me and the right opportunities will come my way. I’ll look back on these old ramblings from the safety of a middle-age life I’ll love and I’ll see it all as a part of the wild adventure that was Rose Parker’s youth. A youth that has (so far) been strange and wonderful and tragic, often all at once. A youth that has been hard so that the rest of my life can be beautiful.
I can’t control whether I get the job, or whether people buy my art, but I can control my perspective on what is proving to be a pretty tumultuous early-twenties. I choose to see the good. Everything will work out. We will be alright.
xx Rose
